Autism and Porn Addiction: My Straight-Talk Review

Posted bykienernewton

Note: This is a personal-style story written in first person. It shares real-world style examples and plain talk about addiction. No graphic details.

The quick version, before we get into it

I’m autistic. I like routine. I like control. Porn gave me both, fast. (There’s a compact overview of how autism traits can link up with porn use right here if you’re curious.) It also messed with my sleep, my mood, and my work. I’m not proud of that, but I’m not hiding it either. I tested tools, rules, and support. Some helped a lot. Some didn’t. For the full backstory I once wrote out, you can check my straight-talk review on autism and porn addiction. Here’s what my days looked like, what got me stuck, and what helped me climb out.

How it started (kind of simple, kind of sneaky)

It began as a nightly thing. Phone in bed. Lights off. “Just five minutes.” You know what? It wasn’t five minutes. It was an hour. Then two. Then 3 a.m. Sometimes I’d watch the same type of clip again and again, because my brain wanted the same pattern. Predictable. Same rooms. Same angles. Same beats. It felt safe, which is odd, but true.

I told myself it was stress. I told myself I “earned it.” Then I missed two morning meetings in a row. Not a great look.

What it did to my brain (and why it grabbed me)

  • It gave quick relief. Like flipping a switch.
  • It felt controlled. I could hit pause. I could choose. No small talk. No guessing.
  • It fed hyperfocus. My eyes locked in. Time got fuzzy.
  • Afterward? Shame. Numb. Brain fog. I called it a “hangover,” even though I don’t drink.
  • Bonus downside I never expected: erection problems started creeping in—turns out porn-linked impotence is a thing, and this first-person review explains it better than I can.

And I’m not alone—researchers tracking problematic porn use have noted similar cycles of hyperfocus and emotional crash in autistic adults, as outlined in this psychiatry paper (PDF).

This rhythm ran me. That bugged me most. I like calling the shots. The habit did instead.

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered in general terms why guys get hooked so fast, this blunt explainer on why men get addicted to porn is worth a skim.

What made it worse

  • Unplanned time at night.
  • Phone in the bathroom and in bed.
  • Overload from the day (noise, bright lights, people). I masked hard, then crashed hard.
  • Boredom mixed with worry. Worst combo.
  • Sundays. I don’t know why. They just were.

I noticed a thing: certain songs, certain ads, even a smell from my old apartment would trigger the urge. Sounds odd, but our brains wire funny paths.

What actually helped (and what flopped)

I tried stuff. I kept what worked. I dropped what didn’t.

Tools I used, plain and simple

  • Freedom app (website blocker)

    • How I set it: 9 p.m. to 7 a.m., all adult sites, plus some search terms
    • Good: Strong blocks across my laptop and phone
    • Meh: If I was in meltdown mode, I’d try to uninstall. So I added a password I didn’t know (my friend set it).
    • Verdict: Big help at night

  • Cold Turkey Blocker (Windows)

    • Good: Brutal. Timers. Schedules. Hard to quit mid-block.
    • Meh: When I needed a site for work, it got in the way. I made a “work-safe” list.
    • Verdict: Best for “no wiggle room” days

  • OpenDNS Family filter (on my router)

    • How I used it: House-wide filter from 9 p.m.
    • Good: My phone tricks stopped working
    • Meh: It blocked random things, like certain art sites
    • Verdict: Solid base layer

  • Covenant Eyes (accountability)

    • How I set it: Weekly report to my sister. Yup. Awkward at first.
    • Good: It broke the secret loop
    • Meh: Felt invasive sometimes. We made a simple rule: she only texts “You good?” if there’s a spike at night.
    • Verdict: Not for everyone. It helped me.

  • Brainbuddy (streak app)

    • Good: Daily tasks, quick check-ins, helpful prompts
    • Meh: Streak pressure stressed me. If I slipped, I felt dumb. So I switched to “days present,” not “days perfect.”
    • Verdict: Use with care. It can be helpful or harsh.

  • Forest (focus timer)

    • Good: I plant a tree for 25 minutes. If I leave the app, my tree dies. Simple and silly. It worked.
    • Meh: The urge doesn’t respect timers. I added tiny breaks.
    • Verdict: Great for evenings

  • Sony WH-1000XM4 headphones

    • Good: Less noise. Less overload. Fewer urges.
    • Verdict: Weirdly key

  • Fidgets (Tangle, therapy putty)

    • Good: Gave my hands something to do at night
    • Verdict: Small things can be big

  • Therapy (CBT/ACT with an autism-aware therapist)

    • Good: We made scripts I could use. Short ones. Like, “If urge hits, I breathe, I stand up, I text ‘check’ to my buddy, I wash my face.”
    • Meh: I had to say “no metaphors, please.” We kept it clear and concrete.
    • Verdict: Worth it if you find the right fit
    • Side note: If you’re near the coast and hunting for options, here’s an honest rundown of getting help for porn addiction in Long Beach.

  • Groups (SMART Recovery and SAA)

    • Good: Tools, worksheets, simple plans, no yelling
    • Meh: Group talk can be hard. I sat near the door. I wrote notes instead of talking.
    • Verdict: Helpful once I found my rhythm

  • Hypnosis (yes, I tried it)

On that note, I also came across a straight-shooting resource at Wild Porn Reviews that breaks down adult sites by ethics and safety—understanding the landscape weirdly took some of the mystery (and power) out of my urges.

Later on, I discovered that sometimes a low-key, text-only chat could scratch the social or erotic itch without the sensory overload of HD video. I bookmarked LewdChat—an anonymous, adults-only sexting room where you can set clear boundaries, stay text-based, and bail out with one click—which gave me a sense of control and helped me practice stopping before things spiralled.
A while later, I also toyed with the idea of meeting someone offline instead of retreating to endless videos—which led me down the classified-ads rabbit hole. For anyone near western Iowa who’s on the same quest, the local rundown at Backpage Council Bluffs breaks down which listings are active, what red flags to watch for, and how to keep meet-ups safe, so you don’t swap one risky habit for another.

The simple rules that saved me

These look tiny. They were huge.

  • The bathroom rule: No phone in the bathroom. Ever.
  • The bed rule: Phone sleeps in the kitchen by 9:30 p.m., charger stays there.
  • The light rule: Lamp on at night. Bright light killed the urge more than I thought.
  • The snack rule: If I’m hungry after 9, I eat a real snack first. Peanut butter toast saved me.
  • The map rule: I wrote an “urge map.” Time, place, feeling, and what I did instead.
  • The script rule: If urge hits, I read my card:
    • “Stand up.”
    • “Cold water on face.”
    • “Open Forest and plant a tree.”
    • “Text ‘check’ to my buddy.”
    • “Walk outside for 5 minutes.”

Simple beats fancy.

Real moments that stuck with me

  • Week 2, I slipped at 1 a.m. I wanted to quit all the rules. Instead, I reset the blocker, brushed my teeth, and went to the couch with my headphones. I felt dumb and also proud. Both things can be true.
  • I once baked banana bread at midnight. I know. But